My Ode to Entropy

Expectations.

The most threatening word in the English Dictionary. 

What happens when expectations are not met?

Disappointment. 

The most frightening word in the English Dictionary. 

What happens when disappointment clouds your judgement?

Bad choices.

Let me tell you about bad choices. They can be completely life-altering. 

When people are asked, "If you could change one thing that happened in your life, what would it be?" 

Most will tell you that they wouldn't change anything because they learned something from every experience, good or bad. 

It's safe to say that people learn from their mistakes. My Goodness. What a cliché. 

I learned a very interesting concept in my chemistry class the other day (and yes, I only pay attention when I can apply chemistry concepts to real life... which is pretty rare).
There's this thing called Entropy. A measure of chaos in the universe. All mathematical and logistical figures aside, it's a purely awesome concept.
How could I possibly quantify the disorder in my life? The chaos in my universe?
Well, simply put... I can't. I can't count the amount of times that I have made bad decisions.
But I can tell you one thing: those decisions have made me who I am today. They solidify my personality. They don't define me, per se... but they do define how I came to be.

So, to expectations, disappointment, and bad choices, I say cheers. Thank you for allowing me to get from point A to point B. Thank you for helping me grow in the most positive way. Thank you... for the entropy in my universe.

Another thank you goes out to Kelly Pearson, my best friend of five years (and counting), for helping me keep the chaos at bay. For watching me grow as a person, as a friend, and as a sister. And for always being there, no matter the time of day. I would like to conclude my cheesy sentimentality with a quote: "Go hard, today, can't worry about the past 'cause that was yesterday... imma put it on the line 'cause it's our time." Love you, Kellbell <3

i Am An Adult?

So, I turned eighteen today. I'm an adult. "Officially Legal."
People can no longer call me a "child," because (regardless of the fact that I am two years younger than everyone in my grade) I have lived for eighteen entire years.
Who came up with that? Who decided that one could legally be dubbed "adult" after eighteen years of life? My brain hasn't even fully developed yet. I know for a FACT that I am still growing. My parents are paying for my tuition, health insurance, car insurance, clothing, food, and vacations. I still bite my nails. I still enjoy idiotic things like making food mountains out of my left-overs from dinner. I throw temper tantrums, even in their mildest form. I make irrational and impulsive decisions on a daily basis. Essentially, I'm a child. Eighteen years of being one just doesn't really seem to be enough for me. Back off, adulthood. I'm not ready for you.

So, what does one do on their eighteenth birthday? I was planning a relaxed evening with friends, completely low-key. You know, just a chill thing.
Sivan and Selaina, on the other hand... yeah, they had other plans.
For those of you who don't know Sivan and Selaina, they are two of the most genuine people I have ever met. They each have their quirks-- quirks that make them who they are, quirks that I love. Sivan sways on the spot when she stands, almost as if being constantly in motion is essential to her survival. She's just intense like that. Selaina does this thing where she simply refuses to believe that anything bad exists in the world. I would argue that the blood that flows through her veins is the color of the rainbow.

So, after being told to wake up, take a shower, put on a dress and be ready by noon, I found myself in my mother's car, clueless as to where we were headed. Selaina and Sivan blindfolded me, and I couldn't see anything. I was completely reliant on these two girls... and I wasn't sure how trusting I could be, especially in five-inch heels.
No worries; they passed the test with flying colors. I was escorted directly to my seat, completely unscathed. Still, I had no idea where I was. When they removed the blindfold and and flashed a brochure, I yelped, almost as if it were a reflex. I was sitting in a Cirque du Soleil (Circus of the Sun) arena, along with hundreds of other spectators... and my two best friends. I was so surprised, and completely shocked. How did they even manage to pull it off?
I was ecstatic. Absolutely ecstatic. Then, the lights dimmed, and I was thrown into a world of inhumane stunts and majestic performances. And trust me... it wasn't your average circus.

When I came back home to McDowell, I walked into my room to find it completely decorated. Balloons were scattered across the floor, streamers hung from the ceiling, posters hung on the walls, and eighteen cupcakes were lined up on my dresser. Kayla, Alexa, Nicole and Jane (four amazing and absolutely stunning women that have made my time here at AU exceed all expectations) jumped out at me when I walked in. I loved every second of it.
Shortly thereafter, we went to DuPont Circle and decided to eat at a Lebanese grill called Kababji. I walked in, demanded VIP access (due to my Arabness) and enjoyed my birthday meal with my beautiful mother, brother, and friends. I walked out with a food baby... and a job. Mr. Hakeem, the manager, asked me if I spoke Arabic, I said yes, and then he asked me when I wanted to start working. Yeah... the Arab community is just too awesome for words.

I came home, ready to relax and fall asleep.
Chris just wasn't going to let that happen. "You can't fall asleep before midnight Sarah, it's your birthday." Spoken like a true fraternity brother. So, I was forced to wake up and walk all the way to the Berkshire apartments. Chris made me tea, and we talked with some of his friends and pseudo fraternity brothers (that's an inside joke, don't plan on understanding it) and I formally asked Chris to be the Mr. Big to my Little. Then it was midnight. And I was eighteen. And I felt the exact same as I did two days ago, when I was still seventeen.

So, as they say, age really is just a number. I have allowed myself to grow, above and beyond any goals I might have set for myself at the start of my freshman year. "Ayo I once was a kid, all I had was a dream..." Chiddy Bang had it right. I have a dream... and that dream is to be an adult, without sucking the life out of... well, life. I will still yell out of my car window at random strangers. I will still pull my shorts up to my chest at soccer practice. I will still act like a fool whenever I so please. Oh, and one more thing... I will still be me.

This is Sarah Samaha, the eighteen year old adult, leaving you with your life to ponder.